Thursday, February 21, 2013

being content

God is teaching me a lesson on being content. He proved that to me when i opened up my bible yesterday to  Galatians 6:4-5.

it says "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load."

"Why are you comparing yourself to someone else?" He asked. and i knew immediately what he meant.

if there's one thing in this world that i want right now, it's a house. a house that is ours that we can settle into and make our own. something we fix up and turn into a home.

our apartment is nice but it's not a house. each time another friend posts a picture of themselves on facebook outside of a gorgeous house holding a sold side, i fill up with a little more jealousy. a horrid jealousy that eats at my soul.

coveting is not becoming on me. it wears on my heart for hours, making me cranky and bitter.

why am i not living in this season? it was a duh, hit-myself-on-the-forehead, moment. this is where God wants me right now! in this small apartment, that someone else maintains (for the most part), so that i can share His ministry with 120 children. because if i were spending my time, money, and energy on purchasing and fixing up a house, i couldn't be serving Him in this outreach program.

God has given me all i need. and i trust that He always will.

8 comments:

  1. Ah this is such a wonderful post!! It's sooo true for some mane seasons of life. There is always something ahead that we can look forward to. For me, meeting my husband. It's easy to look at my friends with boyfriends or husbands and feel envious, but I know that is NOT what the Lord wants me to do. He wants me to trust His timing and His plan, and use this time of single-ness as a blessing to focus only on Him!

    Thanks for the thought provoking post, dear! :) Hope you have a wonderful day!

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    1. You are exactly right! I have such a hard time being patient and letting God work. I'm so thankful for the things He has given me and done for me, yet it seems like I'm always pushing for more. When I have those moments of realization, I feel so silly and selfish. I have to remember that there are seasons other than the ones I want.

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  2. Court, you wrote this post for me. I have terrible house envy. I feel my heart growing more and more bitter with every Facebook post or status update from friends declaring "We bought a house!" or showing pictures of the for sale signs with the giant "sold" banner across it. And instead of feeling happiness for them (as I should), I feel like it means I'm lacking in some way. Like, other people's joy is a threat to my own happiness. It's so sick and demented and probably one of the worst characteristics I possess. And, in order to make myself feel better, I start thinking negative, nasty things about that friend ... just like a bully. I think things "Their parents are probably just GIVING them a down payment for that house because they're spoiled." It's terrible.

    Thank you for positing this. Clay and I were in a position to buy a house before we decided to rent our current townhouse back in 2011. I was already searching for home, looking at lenders, ect., but then one night I had a convo with my hubby and he expressed to me that he didn't feel now was the right time. He said that he thought we should wait. This devastated me, but I honored my husband and agreed to continue to rent.

    I trust God's timing and know that even though right this SECOND isn't the right time for it, it will be our turn one day. God wants me to enjoy the NOW, enjoy not having to pay taxes on my property or be responsible for my own upkeep. He doesn't want me to rush my life or try to "have it all" before I'm 30.

    I don't know about you, but I am SO thankful that God knows more than I do. :)

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    1. Not that I am glad you have felt the same, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this!

      Good for you, to accept Clay's decision. I unfortunately would have probably thrown a temper tantrum. But you're absolutely right, I have to enjoy life for right now, still a newlywed and learning how to live with my husband, right where we are. And someday, when and if God sees fit, we will have a house of our own.

      Yes, I'm so glad God knows what He's doing and I don't have to. And I have to remember just to glorify Him in everything. But even when I screw that up, He forgives me.

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    2. I've found your blog to be so inspirational, both creatively and now spiritually. You have such a sweet spirit and it's obvious that you have such a big heart for God. :)

      Obeying my husband is probably one of the biggest challenges to my Christian life. Sometimes I just KNOW I know better (LOL!) and trust me, I did want to throw a tantrum when he put the brakes on our house search. But, I married him for a reason and it was because I trust him our decisions.

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    3. Thank you so SO much, Courtney. I truly appreciate your kind words.

      I love your statement about marrying your husband. Transitioning from making decisions on my own, to supporting KJB's decisions has been so difficult, and the topic I pray to God about most. Because when I object his decisions, not only am I objecting him but also God. And I'm not proud of that. Trusting KJB is also trusting God. All I really need to do is pray for my husband, that all his decisions are God-influenced.

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  3. I find this is an issue I am so constantly working on/being taught. It is so hard to be content, especially in the culture we live in. I'll be praying for you!

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    1. I agree, society urges us to fit an image that sometimes God is not ready for us to be. It's important to listen to Him and to stay on track with what he wants for us, not what our peers want for us.

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