Friday, May 4, 2012

personal post; Presad

you know the kind; they are the ones that make you want to cuddle up in bed with a fuzzy blanket, a chick flick and a box of tissues. the ones where every sad song on the radio is about you. the ones where you feel like the building blocks of life are stacked high on your back and you're moving at a snails pace to ensure they all stay neatly stacked. today is one of those days for me.

maybe my emotions are running high because we are now 8 days and 8 hours away from wedding time but regardless, today i'm presad. you all know presad; it's when you really have no reason to be sad but something suddenly hits you: you think about a scenerio that could happen and you get sad. you foolishly dwell on the situation, fully knowing it's not happening and that there's no reason to be sad but you are sad anyway because you know that it COULD happen and potentially WILL happen someday. yeah, it's one of those days.

a Miranda Lambert song set it off for me today. that pretty but sad little song with the most simple of lyrics; "cause you went away, how dare you? I miss you. they say I’ll be okay but I’m not going to ever get over you." she sings them in such a powerful way that it really sucked me into believing her feelings were my feelings. suddenly i lost someone so close to me and i don't know how i'll ever deal with it. it seemed so real and then i realize that it will be real someday. i've been so fortunate in life to not have lost someone that is part of my daily routine; someone that i see or talk to daily, that i NEED to help me survive life. but i will someday and so i am presad. it's just one of those days.

but today will get better because it's early. i'll buy myself some pretty flowers and embrace the thunderstorm we're supposed to have later and be grateful and happy to have another day. another day closer to the wedding day and another day closer to starting a life with my best friend by my side each morning. yeah, i think it will be one of those days. what kind of day will you have?