Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Can I tell you something: The Thief of Joy

As you may or may not know, I tend to dabble in several different things at once, one of them being a mini business adventure that I've (kinda) attempted twice. Since I've only kinda attempted it, of course has been not so successful - a fault that I own. That being said, I did have a friend who encouraged me and supported me in this mini business and I was grateful for her. It lasted about a year and then I completely stopped marketing (if you could call it that) my product.

Fast-forward about six months to a text from my friend requesting info on creating my product. Immediately I was hesitant to give away my secrets. That was my thing and I could not show her, my very best client, how to recreate my thing. I would lose any business I might get from her. Blowing her off, I went back to what I was doing, irritated and annoyed.

Three days later, my friend sent me an invitation to join a Facebook page to her new company. Selling my thing that I had sold her so many times. I was furious. 'How dare she? She didn't even know what she was doing! I thought we were friends!' Ignoring her again, I vented to KJB and a few friends. However, much to my dismay her business took off gaining more than 2,000 followers in less than a month. She was constantly posting new product and selling out of items, and because of that, my fury grew. 'How dare she? She didn't even know what she was doing! I thought we were friends.'

That night while feeling sorry for myself, I curled up on the couch and started flipping through the channels. For a reason unbeknownst to me (that would be God) I paused on the Lifetime channel, a channel I never watch, just in time to see a crying girl say, "can't you just be happy for me?!" and I realized that I had turned into the very thing I despise: I had become The Thief of Joy.

You see this friend of mine was doing something I couldn't do. Something at which I had been afraid to fail and so I had only kinda attempted it. She dived headfirst when I had only been able to dip my toes. And for every time I thought, "'How dare she? She didn't even know what she was doing! I thought we were friends,' I was really only angry with myself. Furthermore, I was allowing myself to compare her success to mine.

How dare I? 
Instead of celebrating with her, I had been opposing her. Instead of lifting her up and praying for her in her business adventure, I had been questioning God on why I hadn't had that success. I had been selfish, simple as that.

Why do we do that? Why do we have to gain an advantage over the woman next to us? Why do we have to compare? Looking back, I know what I should have done, but why is our automatic response to put up our walls?

 I'm working on tearing down those walls, as well as preventing them from going up. We all might be a little happier in life if we gave it a try. I don't want to be The Thief of Joy.